the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
