end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
