Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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