I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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