Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
