Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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