No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
