some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
