wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
