You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
