May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was like eating out sand paper
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
