That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
