So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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