i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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