...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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