He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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