I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
