I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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