i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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