we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I will pee on everything he values.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize