I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
