I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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