I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
