Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
