We won't sleep together?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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