sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
