Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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