So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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