I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she looked like the before picture.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
