I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
