I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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