my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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