Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
