Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
