one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
