I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
