My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
