I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He passed out mid-signature
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
