Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
What a dumb baby whore.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
