That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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