We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
