guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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