yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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