Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
