You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
