I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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