how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's just like the Real World with babies
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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