I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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