and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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