I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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