Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
