Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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