Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
