to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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