saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
