i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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