...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
