Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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