I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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