thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize