the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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