The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
